Post #52: Driven to Distraction

Over the weekend, I started reading a good book by an American Buddhist nun named Pema Chodron. In Taking the Leap, Chodron writes, "There are many ways to discuss the ego, but in essence...it's the experience of never being present. There is a deep-seated tendency, it's almost a compulsion, to distract oursleves, even when we're not consciously feeling uncomfortable. Everybody feels a little bit of an itch all the time. There's a background hum of edginess, boredom, restlessness."

Psychologically, this is fascinating, especially the part about us needing to distract ourselves even when we're not uncomfortable. It's understandable that we would want to distract ourselves to avoid pain, suffering, or boredom, but she's right in pointing out that we're in an era of pretty much constantly rejecting the form of life that we're directly experiencing.

I remember seeing a show a few years ago where a teenaged girl is in Europe with her family, and she gets her first glimpse of the Roman Colosseum. While the rest of her family is standing there experiencing awe, and just taking it all in, the girl immediately whips out her phone and starts texting all her friends about the fact that she's standing in front of the Roman Colosseum! A few minutes later, when her family is ready to move on, the girl is still texting away, never having actually seen the Colosseum. It was a virtual experience for her, not a real one. She'll walk away with the picture she took from her phone, but not a personal experience of the richly historical ancient treasure.

This is an extreme (but common) example of our compulsion to flee from the present moment, and you could say that kids and young adults are particularly guilty of this sort of distractability, but the reality is that we adults behave very similarly.

This morning, for instance, I was at the gym, riding the stationary bike for what I had decided would be 25 minutes. I was feeling healthy and content, enjoying people-watching out the window, feeling pleased with myself for being there, even digging the slight burning sensation of exercising my leg muscles. But then, inexplicably, I looked at the clock and started calculating exactly how many minutes and seconds were left until I'd be done, which suddenly became my goal.

I realized right away that this is what Pema was talking about. I had been perfectly happy to be where I was, doing what I was doing, and still there was a restlessness to get out of there and start doing something else. Anything else. Wow, that is messed up. And the irony is that I'm actually someone who values being present in the moment. Just ask my kids. They'll tell you that I'm always reminding them to embrace the present moment and not to "wish" their lives away.

So, how does this apply to you? Are you able to enjoy a real conversation (with someone who's in the room with you)? Can you eat a meal without multi-tasking? When you see a beautiful sunset, do you actually take it in, or or do you just take a picture of  it? And when your kids are telling you something that matters to them, do you listen?

This week, please join me in taking some time to tune into the present moment and focus on what's important. I believe we might just find that a lot of the busy-ness we're engaged in is fairly meaningless or unimportant, while a lot of the important issues and moments in our lives are neglected.

Enjoy your week.

Post #51: Beyond Beauty and the Beast

Oh, how I love the Disney movie, Beauty and the Beast. It's been my favorite for years. I love how Belle is bookish, lives in a dream world, and refuses to settle for an ordinary life. I love how everyone thinks she's "odd," but they like her anyway. And I love how she can see past the Beast's (beastly) appearance and recognize his goodness, which in turn brings this goodness out in him. The most amazing moment, though, is at the end of the film when the Beast turns into Fabio. I get goosebumps just thinking about it!

I always thought this was a story about basic values. You know, human nature, good vs.evil, love vs. hate, seeing past appearances, karma, etc. And it is, but it turns out that there's much more to it than that.

Last Sunday, at Unity of Walnut Creek, Rev. David McArthur presented a beautiful interpretation of Beauty and the Beast, whereby he reminded us that both Belle and the Beast reside within us. The feminine and the masculine, the thought and feeling natures, and that which is pleasant and acceptable as well as that which is ugly and unacceptable.

Need I say much about Belle? She is the beautiful outer self that we are happy to present to the world. The Beast, on the other hand, is the hidden part of us that is wild,  rageful, ashamed, and desperate for love. He is frightening and offensive, but ultimately he means no harm and is hopelessly misunderstood. As it turns out, the Beast is not a bad guy at all, and it is Belle's courage and willingness to see him for who he is that create the conditions for resolution and love.

So, how does the inner Beast present itself? It shows up as sarcasm, greed, passive aggression, depression, addiction, compulsive behavior, desperation, sabotage of self and others, pain and illness, drama, violence, and a thousand other expressions. As long as it stays locked up inside of us, it has tremendous destructive power.

How, then, do we free the Beast? Rev. David explains that it is through compassion and forgiveness that we are able to merge the inner and outer aspects of self and become healed and well. Wow! That thought is as breath-taking as the film. When you acknowledge the beast inside of you (not as the enemy, but as a lost and lonely fragment of yourself that longs for acceptance and love), you will notice an immediate shift.

I'm not claiming that this won't open a can of worms, because it just might; but in the long run, your "happily ever after" depends on your willingness to do whatever it takes to heal yourself and wake up to the greatness of who you came here to be.

Here's sending love to your inner Fabio---uhh, I mean Beast!  

Lesson #50: How to be a "Pain Buster" (Part 3: the Prescription)

For the last two weeks, we've focused on the mindbody connection, and how repressed emotional material (especially rage) is implicated in many of our modern-day pain and illness syndromes. Today I will share Dr. John Sarno's "prescription" for a pain-free life, but before I do I'd like make an important, if slightly ambiguous, distinction.

If you've read parts 1 and 2, you understand the basic message of  Dr. Sarno and fans like myself. What you may still be wondering is where to draw the line in your thinking. Which disorders are strictly psychologically based, and which ones absolutely require medical intervention? For instance, if you have chronic pain, and have been to four or five different doctors, none of whom can give you a satisfactory explanation or remedy for your pain, then it would make sense to shift your focus from medical intervention to psychological inquiry.

But let's say you have back pain (either of unknown origin or the result of a minor injury), and you go to your doctor or chiropractor, who examines you and perhaps takes an x-ray or MRI. These professionals are trained to diagnose and label complaints, and, predictably, they will pinpoint a cause for your pain. They even have an important-sounding name for it. But what happens then? Chances are you start behaving in a disabled fashion, taking megadoses of anti-inflammatories, and saying things like, "I can't do that because of my back," or "I'm in pain due to a herniated disc." Usually your symptoms get worse.

Dr. Sarno, while careful not to disregard serious medical conditions, explains that the structural "abnormalities" to which many practitioners attribute pain, are in fact quite normal (or commonplace), and may not be the cause of pain at all. How does he know this?

First of all, studies have shown that most structural abnormalities do not actually cause pain, and secondly, that when Sarno's patients (who had abnormalities accompanied by pain) got in touch with their repressed emotions, the pain went away. This would not have been possible if the structural issue itself was responsible for the pain.

This leads me to Sarno's 3-part therapeutic program (which emphasizes "the power of knowledge"):

1.   Challenge the structural diagnosis, or the "physical" reason for the pain.
Just because your doctor gives your back pain a formal diagnosis doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with your back! As previously mentioned, Sarno explains that many types of pain (but not all) are caused by the brain restricting bloodflow to that area of the body for the purpose of masking repressed emotional pain. It is a diversion tactic, and can be quite harmless. When you "bust" the pain by saying with conviction, "There's nothing wrong with my back," or by allowing the repressed emotions to surface, then the jig is up, at least temporarily. (There may be follow-up work necessary to make the fix permanent).

2.   Acknowledge the psychological basis for the pain.
This step requires you to turn your attention away from the physical preoccupation, and toward the emotional or psychological aspect. Especially when you're experiencing symptoms, go ahead and dredge up whatever might be bothering you. Ask yourself, "What could I possibly be upset or angry about?" Let yourself really explore this, knowing that it's better to face the stuff and release it, than to continue letting it sabotage your health. (See Sarno's books for more advise on how to manage this phase).

3.   Accept the psychological.
In this step, Sarno encourages us to say to ourselves, "It's all right to be the way we are: illogical, unconsciously enraged, like a child having a temper tantrum. That's part of being human, and it's universal." While we may love being in control, or seeing ourselves as nice or good, ultimately the truth of our experience will set us free.

This has been a quick introduction to the facinating world of the mindbody connection, and I should point out that while I used the example of back pain, this concept can be applied to any number of other medical issues that we commonly deal with.

I'm certainly not a medical doctor, but John Sarno is, so if you're interested in learning more, please check out his bestselling books, Healing Back Pain, The Mindbody Prescription, etc.

Lesson #49: How to be a "Pain Buster" (Part 2)

Last week we began a very important discussion regarding the mindbody connection. I introduced Dr. John Sarno and his groundbreaking work (conducted within the western medical model) which convinced me that a huge chunk of our modern-day afflictions can be resolved through working with the mind, and not through drugs, physical therapies, surgery, etc. (Please see last week's post).

As previously mentioned, Sarno believes that repressed emotion (especially rage) is what leads to many chronic pain and illness issues. But why would our minds trade one evil for another? Why not just deal with the feelings, and move on? Where's the logic in creating an elaborate cover-up that could lead to ever-increasing suffering, disability and even death? These are the questions I asked myself, and last week I got to experience the answer firsthand.

I'd been struggling with hip bursitis for about a year, and nothing had helped---until a couple weeks ago when I read Sarno's book, The Mindbody Prescription. The book's wisdom alone turned me into a "pain buster." I called the bursitis' bluff, and it hit the road as fast as a snake oil salesman in the wild, wild west. I went down the list of my past health issues and busted them, one by one. I thought to myself, "This is a piece of cake---it's so much easier to just face our emotions than let them be converted into some horrid disorder." I was smug.

Then it hit. The rage, that is. It was like someone tore open Pandora's box. You would not believe the crap that came flying out of there---it was horrible. I turned into Medusa (remember the Greek myth of the scary lady with snakes coming out of her hair, and if you looked her in the eyes, you'd die instantly?) That was me, or at least that was how I felt.

I--did--not--like--that. After all, I'm a nice person, a good person, a person who helps others. All that rage did not fit with my self image. I guess this is why the primitive mind does whatever is necessary to hide that stuff from us. Now I got it.

We girls are taught to be nice ("sugar and spice"), so it's no wonder we bury the dark stuff. Boys, on the other hand, are taught not to cry or be weak, so perhaps their repressed emotions would more likely be sadness, fear and/or shame. (Or maybe they're internally miffed about having to bury half of who they are!) I don't know. I guess each person is unique, and has his or her own personal storage trunk of difficult feelings.

Anyway, next week I'd like to conclude with Dr. Sarno's "prescription" for getting to the bottom of these aggravating mindbody issues and moving forward in our lives. It's a process, to be sure, but I have to tell you that I'm pretty darned excited about this stuff. It's another piece to the grand puzzle of life, and I think it's good medicine.

Lesson #48: How to be a "Pain Buster"

For years, my good friend and fellow author/blogger, Z Egloff, has sung the praises of Dr. John Sarno and his magical book, Healing Back Pain, which led to the healing of her back pain. Last month, Z blogged about her experience (see: http://lifeinzd.com/ 12/13/11 post). She explained that Sarno's healing philosophy could apply to any number of maladies (back, neck, shoulder, arm or leg pain, headaches/migraines, frequent colds and infections, gastrointestinal trouble, cardiac issues, skin problems, etc) so I decided to check him out. I ended up buying Sarno's more recent book, The Mindbody Prescription: Healing the body, Healing the Mind, which I had the pleasure of reading over the holidays, with surprisingly immediate results.

Let me start by saying that I've always been a firm believer in the mindbody connection---at least in theory. (In the throes of physical suffering, it can sometimes be really difficult to see things for what they are). I'm one of those basically healthy people who has always been plagued by nuisance afflictions, and occasionally more serious health concerns. I could take you on a hypochondriacal-sounding walking tour of my past issues (On your left is shin splints, and up ahead you'll see plantar fasciitis," etc), but suffice it to say that there's virtually always been some distracting physical issue to deal with. They'd come in out of nowhere, and would eventually fade away, only to make way for some new, equally unexplainable and annoying issue. That was just "normal," and I never gave it much thought. That is, until I read Sarno's book.

Dr. Sarno is a traditionally trained Medical Doctor/Professor of Clinical Rehabilitation Medicine, NYU School of Medicine, and  he's been helping patients (and readers like Z) resolve pain issues since the 1970's. (His "cure" rate as of 1998 was around 90%). Unlike many western medical doctors, Sarno was extremely dissatisfied with the poor results he and his colleagues were seeing through conventional approaches, and he set out to expose and effectively cure these chronic pain issues at their roots.

Over years and years of study and observation, Sarno found that much (if not all) of his patients' pain was psychogenic---that is, originating in the mind. He discovered that the brain was responsible for cutting off bloodflow (oxygen) to certain parts of the body, thus creating pain and/or illness. But what makes our brains do this?

What Sarno determined was that deeply painful, repressed emotions were the culprit. It seems that the unconscious mind is so desperate to keep these emotions from leaking into conscious awareness, that it creates a physical disturbance to distract us from what's really going on. (I would add that most addictions, compulsions, obsessions, drama, etc., are also designed to achieve the same objective!) Facing the inner pain can seem too overwhelming.

Is Sarno the first person ever to attribute physical disorders to repressed emotions? Definately not. Sigmund Freud chalked up various maladies to repressed sexual energy, while others have implicated fear (as in "A Course in Miracles") or shame (John Bradshaw). Dr. Sarno holds that repressed rage is the principle cause of most chronic pain issues,  and he's quick to point out that certain personality types are more likely to suffer this sort of disturbance than others. The ironic thing is that it's the "nice" people who are the best candidates for the pain and suffering that come with repressed rage and other emotions.

I have to admit that when I first read the part about rage, I sort of rolled my eyes. As a psychotherapist, while I absolutely validate the repressed emotion theory, I thought Sarno was overdoing it on the anger bit. I saw the culprit as being a more general "yucky emotional stew," or what Sarno also called "psychological poison." But then something interesting happened. When I followed Sarno's advice about dredging up what I might possibly be angry about, I noticed that my malady du jour (hip bursitis) disappeared virtually overnight. Not only that, I started getting little "hello's" from my psyche that validated the repressed anger theory. Very interesting stuff...

I'd like to share more of what I learned, so please join me here next week to continue the discussion. And have a radiantly healthy first week of 2012.

Lesson #47: Is it 2012...Already?!

Wow, a new year is just around the corner, and no doubt you're aware of the hype surrounding 2012. But what is all this actually based on? I thought today we'd explore that question from the perspective of the Mayan calendar which ends abruptly in 2012, leaving many people wondering whether that signals the end of time.

So, here goes. The ancient Maya were master spiritual timekeepers as well as astronomical and mathematical geniuses. They had multiple calendars and timetables for various purposes, such as agriculture, human gestation, moon cycles, spiritual cycles, galactic cycles, spirirtual cycles, etc. They left many monuments that would help later civilizations interpret their calendars and prophesies, and although we have achieved this to a great extent, not all of the existing information has yet been revealed.

Like our modern-day calendar cycles, the Mayan cycles ranged from the very short to the very long. Their various smaller cycles, however, all converge in a "Long Count Calendar," whereby one Great Cycle equals 5,126 years, which represents the end of a sun or age. Five Great Cycles makes up a Grand Cycle, or 25,630 years. This represents a galactic cycle and measures the precession of the equinox, or the time it takes the earth to circle through all the constellations. This approximately twenty-six-thousand-year cycle is, in fact, corroborated by modern astronomical observation.

Bear with me. Somehow, around 200 BCE the Maya developed the Long Count Calendar, in which they set the start date (of the current era) at approximately three thousand years prior to that year. After extensively studying the calendars and prophesies, many researchers have concluded that this calendar or era ends on December 21, 2012. That represents not only the end of a 5,126-year great cycle, but the end of the larger 25,630-year galactic cycle. (There are even theories that indicate we may be at the end of 230-million-year cycle in which the entire Pleiadian system--including our solar system--orbits around the galactic center) Wow!

Needless to say, we are at a unique time in history when cycles within cycles within cycles are lining up, and, according to the Maya, this means great change. It is also believed that the end of a major cycle includes a housekeeping phase, during which all unresolved issues, personal as well as planetary, are brought to the surface to be cleared.

Many believe this is a time of endings, to be followed by new beginnings. What will occur in the next few years or decades is unknown, but one thing is for certain---change is in the air. We can fear it or embrace it, but from my point of view, it is a truly exciting time to be alive, and the fact that you are on the planet now means that you came here to be a part of it. Very cool.

It is beieved that this transition period represents a great window of opportunity for spiritual advancement, which is why many spiritual seekers are feeling the pull to heal their own issues and help other people, as well as the earth herself, do the same.

Regardless of what happens or doesn't happen in the next few years, now is a great time to do your homework, unload your baggage, tune into your purpose, and become the person you came here to be.

Happiest of New Years to you!

Lesson #46: Try to Remain Calm!!!

Here we are once again, in the thick of the holiday season. As always, it's a mix of fun and stress, anticipation and dread, nasty colds and tasty hot chocolate. It's a time to close out the current year and start preparing for the year to come. It's a busy, potentially overwhelming time.

How are you right now? Are you rushing around trying to get too much done? Are you worrying about your finances? Are you fighting off an infection or struggling with back, shoulder, or joint pain? And are you down on yourself for how much you've been eating, or how much you've not been exercising?

Even though it may seem normal, or even appropriate to feel harried at this time of year, it's not entirely necessary, and you can benefit greatly from taking a few moments each day to check in with yourself about where you are and what your physical, psychological, and spiritual needs are. By doing this you can make necessary adjustments and avoid becoming sick, stressed out, and overextended.

I used to think I had to go to every holiday party I was invited too, and that I had to look amazing and be extremely interesting at those parties. I used to have a huge conflict about the commercialism of Christmas, which I would grumble about to anyone who would listen. And when I was a new mother, I cried my eyes out about the fact that my babies were pleasingly plump and had lots of love and presents, while billions of other babies and mothers around the world were hanging on by a thread.

Over time, what I've realized is that it's possible to actually enjoy the month of December, but that this can only be done by slowing down, making some mental adjustments, honoring my personal needs, and only doing what I want to do. If I don't feel like going caroling with my church or girl scout troop, I stay home and drink tea instead. Do I mind being seen as party-pooper? Not so much.

I guess what I'm suggesting is what I'm always suggesting, which is to make a habit of caring about how you feel and what internal signals you are receiving. It no longer works to just do what we've always done, just because we've always done it. If you're like most people I know, you're waking up to new ways of being and new ways of seeing yourself. And as we move into 2012, I believe this will become even more prevalent.

This week, I invite you to slow down, stay conscious, and know that the universe (and I) wish you radiant good health, and an intensely happy and peaceful holiday.