Lesson #46: Try to Remain Calm!!!

Here we are once again, in the thick of the holiday season. As always, it's a mix of fun and stress, anticipation and dread, nasty colds and tasty hot chocolate. It's a time to close out the current year and start preparing for the year to come. It's a busy, potentially overwhelming time.

How are you right now? Are you rushing around trying to get too much done? Are you worrying about your finances? Are you fighting off an infection or struggling with back, shoulder, or joint pain? And are you down on yourself for how much you've been eating, or how much you've not been exercising?

Even though it may seem normal, or even appropriate to feel harried at this time of year, it's not entirely necessary, and you can benefit greatly from taking a few moments each day to check in with yourself about where you are and what your physical, psychological, and spiritual needs are. By doing this you can make necessary adjustments and avoid becoming sick, stressed out, and overextended.

I used to think I had to go to every holiday party I was invited too, and that I had to look amazing and be extremely interesting at those parties. I used to have a huge conflict about the commercialism of Christmas, which I would grumble about to anyone who would listen. And when I was a new mother, I cried my eyes out about the fact that my babies were pleasingly plump and had lots of love and presents, while billions of other babies and mothers around the world were hanging on by a thread.

Over time, what I've realized is that it's possible to actually enjoy the month of December, but that this can only be done by slowing down, making some mental adjustments, honoring my personal needs, and only doing what I want to do. If I don't feel like going caroling with my church or girl scout troop, I stay home and drink tea instead. Do I mind being seen as party-pooper? Not so much.

I guess what I'm suggesting is what I'm always suggesting, which is to make a habit of caring about how you feel and what internal signals you are receiving. It no longer works to just do what we've always done, just because we've always done it. If you're like most people I know, you're waking up to new ways of being and new ways of seeing yourself. And as we move into 2012, I believe this will become even more prevalent.

This week, I invite you to slow down, stay conscious, and know that the universe (and I) wish you radiant good health, and an intensely happy and peaceful holiday.

 

Lesson #45: Are You Feeling It?

Is it just me or are a lot of us feeling conflicted about the holidays? I'm referring to the age-old abundance versus non-abundance issue. The holidays have traditionally been a time when people become aware of those who are more or less fortunate than they are, but this year it feels more pronounced than usual.

I recently had the opportunity to visit to the Blackhawk Auto Museum, which is an exhibition of 90 gorgeous cars, many of which are antiques. I couldn't help but notice that the biggest, most luxurious and over-the-top models were from the 1930s, which was the decade of the great Depression. (I don't know if you've read The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck, but his devastating story of the extreme poverty experienced by so many Americans during the Depression left a lasting impression on me). Being around these cars, stirred up sad feelings about class issues, as did the bumper stickers I read on an SUV yesterday: "Fueled by Capitalism," and, "Spread my Work Ethic, not my Wealth."

Ouch.

At church last Sunday, our minister shared the story of a young immigrant woman working for a well-to-do family. As the holidays rolled around, she observed the bounty of beautiful gifts that flowed into and out of their home. As well as feeling homesick, she felt unhappy for those who were having a very different experience on the other side of town. Long story, short, the woman used her modest income to buy some beautiful baby clothes and blankets which she gave, anonymously, to a poor family who had just had a new baby. This made her feel much better, and when the young son (of the people she worked for) discovered what she had done, he was intensely moved. In fact, it changed his life forever.

Hearing this story reminded me of a few important points. First of all, it feels great to give, and it especially feels great to give to someone who has an actual need, knowing that you are making a difference in their life and in the world. Secondly, we can't alleviate all the suffering in the world, and that's not our job, but we can contribute in our own way. Every little bit of kindness counts. And finally, the intention behind the gift (the love, generosity of spirit, altruism) is as valuable as the gift itself, as is demonstrated in the story of the immigrant woman and the little boy.

You may be in a great place right now, or you may not be. You may have an abundance of health, wealth, and love in your life, or you may be struggling. No matter who you are or where you are in your life, please remember this:  We're all in this together. Whatever you can contribute (a smile, a song, or an orphanage), please do it now. It will make you and the recipient feel great, and we all need to feel great in order to be who we came here to be. Give and you shall receive. Love and you will be loved. Honor your prosperity by sharing it with others. And avoid the guilt game. It serves no one.

In the words of Tiny Tim, "God bless us, everyone!"

Lesson #44: Is Humor Really the Spice of Life?

Last week, I read something that described humor as a gift from God, designed to remind us not to take this life experience too seriously. It said that our ultimate soul essence (beyond these bodies) is light and playful, and that the purpose of earthly humor is to reconnect us with who we really are. I loved this statement, and in my head, I heard the old saying, "Humor is the spice of life." But is this really true? Couldn't you say that food is the spice of life, or that sex is the spice of life?

Let's take a look at this from a higher perspective. It seems to me that God made food enticing to us so that we wouldn't physically waste away and die, right? And sexual desire was an incentive to reproduce and propagate the species, correct? But what is the function of humor?

The way I see it, food and sex are sort of the meat and potatoes (or vegetables and rice) of life, and humor is, in deed, the spice of life. It comes in all different varieties, for virtually any possible application. Just get creative: sprinkle on a little of this spice or that, saute  for 10 minutes, and you've got yourself a nice, home-cooked, life experience.

So, how's your funny bone? Do people say you have a good sense of humor, or do they tell you to lighten up? For me, humor has always been serious business. In fact, I've provoked many a raised eyebrow throughout my life for making myself or others the butt of jokes, laughing out of turn, being silly, sardonic, or unexpectedly funny. It wasn't until I read the recent blurb on humor that I realized why I felt compelled to do this. It became clear to me that comedians, clowns, etc., do what they do because it's their divine purpose to lighten the mood and help people remember joy in this often-too-serious world. And sometimes---a lot of times, actually---this involves poking fun.

When I was a child,  I loved Lucy! Lucille Ball, was a comic genius, and actually a strikingly beautiful woman (although she rarely took advantage of that fact, at least not on stage). Like so many other comediennes who would follow her, she was committed to making people laugh, regardless of the cost. What impressed me most about Lucy is that during the 1950s, when women were valued most for how they looked and how well they conformed and behaved, Lucy was a wild and crazy knucklehead who never minded looking ridiculous. If it made people laugh, Lucy did it. And as a self-conscious little girl who never felt attractive enough, I admired the heck out of Lucy.

I could go into the various health and wellness benefits of enjoying a good laugh (blah, blah...stress reduction, blah, blah...) but suffice it to say that a sense of humor can be as valuable in life as our other five senses, and maybe even more so.

This week, I encourage you to look for the humor and irony in life, choose a funny movie or TV show instead of something heavy, and if you hear a funny joke, pass it on.

So, what makes you laugh?

Lesson #43: Just Checking In

This morning when I sat down to write, I found that my mind was completely blank. When pressed, all I could think of was how everyone I know is battling clutter and how we're all preoccupied with thoughts of buying stuff for the holidays (which will only serve to create more clutter!) Pretty distracting and boring stuff.

So I decided to meditate for a few minutes to gain clarity. I asked, "What should I write about today?" Within a couple minutes I started getting a sense of the outside world and the shell we humans have around us. Beneath that I saw an inner world, centered not in the head area, but in the heart and solar plexis region. Deep within that center was a place of stillness and peace, which exists for all of us, no matter who we are or what we are experiencing in life. The answer to my question became obvious, "Write about the importance of checking in with one's inner Self."

Now, it used to be that this required an elaborate process of consulting a therapist or spending hours learning to meditate, but it seems that the universe has shifted. Have you noticed that your inner world is much more accessible than ever before? The "veil" is thinner than it's ever been, and now we really have no choice but to look at what exists within us.

For some, this is difficult, because before you get down to the peaceful, quiet center, you must sometimes pass through layers just under the surface that hold your unresolved thoughts, emotions, beliefs, etc. It's the same place that greets you when you first awaken in the morning and feel guilt or embarrassment or concern over something that happened the day before. Ultimately, though, this is a good thing, because it gives us clarity and helps us make better choices as we move through life. This is the evolutionary process.

It used to be that we could use food, alcohol, drugs, shopping, dieting, etc., to avoid looking at our inner worlds, but as I look around me, I see that this is no longer possible. The call of the Higher Self has now reached a volume that most of us can no longer help but hear. This is fantastic news, but it requires that many of us change the way we interract with ourselves and the world.

What needs to change? It's actually quite simple, effective, and requires little time. Once a day, or whenever you feel like it, just close your eyes, take a few deep breathes, and turn you attention inward. You might pose a question or ask for direction. Besides that, all that's required of you is that you listen or notice how you feel. A good rule of thumb is that the world of the Higher Self feels good. It feels right, and it is looking out for the best interests of you and everyone else. If the message you receive is anything but positive and loving, it is not coming from your Higher Self.

If you're interested in learning more about how to access your inner wisdom and distinguish between the higher and lower aspects of self, please read lessons 4 through 7 (from February and March, 2011). I think you'll find that the simple practice of checking in with yourself will change your life in the best possible way. Once you get in the habit tapping into and learning to trust your inner guidance, the outside will begin to lose it's power over you, and eventually you will gain mastery of your life.

I'd love to hear from you. What is your experience or practice of accessing higher guidance?

Lesson #42: Craving Relief (Part 2)

Last week we touched on the emotional component of cravings, and how, while we tend to make certain foods, drinks, etc., the "enemy," it is really our relationship with these substances that is the problem. Until we address these deeper, more emotionally-based inner cravings, we will never be free of the outer symptoms.

This week, I'd like to balance the discussion by addressing the physiological component of cravings, which is also very real. If we can learn to differentiate between physical and emotional cravings, and make some adjustments, together we can find relief from the cravings that are disruptive to our lives.

So then, when the body experiences cravings, it usually means we haven't been eating properly, or that stress, fatigue, etc., has thrown our bodies off balance. Serotonin is our feel-good hormone. When Serotonin and/or blood sugar levels are low, the body signals the brain that it needs a pick-me-up. Thus, the cravings for sugars, simple carbohydrates, caffeine, (and probably nicotine). These substances tend to give us a burst of energy, but then cause us to spiral downward, and the cravings return. This can create a cycle of ups and downs that leaves us feeling physically and emotionally out of control.

Physically, the remedy for this is proper nutrition, which is to say a balance of carbohydrates, proteins, and  fats, at regular intervals. (It's the proteins and fats that help us feel grounded). Weight loss diets, even the high protein/low carbohydrate varieties, can cause metabolic problems and throw the body off kilter, so it's very important to adhere to a balanced diet if you want get off the cravings roller coaster and feel good in your body.

Okay, so there are emotionally-based cravings, and physically-based cravings, which can overlap and become intermingled. How then, in the heat of the moment, are we to tell what's what, and how can we manage the cravings?

First of all, consider what you've eaten (or not eaten) recently. If you're like me, you sometimes skip breakfast and tend to forget to eat your proteins. In fact, as much as I'd rather not admit it, I'm sort of attracted to the highs I experience from a blast of sugar or caffeine. This is a problem, both in terms of mood/craving swings, and overall health. There are plenty of ways to experience life's highs without abusing one's body in the process.

The standard textbook advice for dealing with cravings is to wait a few minutes (a cooling-off period) before indulging, and/or to redirect your attention to something else. I've found these to work sometimes, but they require willpower, which is not always available in moments of acute craving. That said, these can be good tests of whether or not you're physically hungry or emotionally hungry, because physical hunger will increase over time, whereas emotional hunger will subside when you're distracted or when you've had a chance to settle down.

Perhaps the most helpful thing to do when you're experiencing an intense craving, is to get in the habit of taking a couple deep breaths and asking yourself, "What do I  need right now that I'm not getting?" It only takes a moment, and you will probably find that there are a few standard responses you get, like "I'm exhausted (I need an energy boost)," or, "I feel frustrated, depressed, angry, unloved, scared, overwhelmed, etc., (I want to bury this feeling), or "I'm bored" (I wonder what's interesting in the fridge), or "I worked hard today" (I deserve a reward).

For so many of us, turning to food, caffeine, cigarettes, alcohol. or drugs has become the automatic response to having an uncomfortable thought or feeling (including fatigue and boredom). The groove in our brain gets etched deeper and deeper every time we repeat the same cause and effect behavior. (Remember Pavlov's dog? Ring a bell: dog salivates. It's the same for us, feel rejected: eat baked goods).

It can be very difficult to undo the groove and create a new one, but it can be done. It helps to have several ready-to-go ideas for what to do when you're feeling vulnerable. Spend some time brainstorming about what would truly nourish you when emotional cravings crop up. This way, when the need arises, you're ready to spring into action.

For instance, if you're exhausted, lying down for a few minutes might work better than turning to a stimulant. If you're bored, what would spike your interest besides raiding the refrigerator? If you're feeling difficult emotions, it might work well to journal, talk to a friend, go for a walk, or take a soothing bath. And if you want to reward yourself for a job well done, get creative. There are plenty of treats in life that don't involve frosting!

Finally, getting off the ferris wheel of cravings requires that you forgive yourself for all the times you made unhealthy choices, and that you reject all-or-nothing thinking. For instance, if you vowed to kick the habit of drinking a large coffee with  french vanilla creamer first thing every morning on an empty stomach, and you somehow find yourself at the espresso drive-through one morning, avoid the temptation to label yourself "bad" and eat a donut just because you already "blew it!" We don't have to be perfect. We can just do our best in any given moment, and then move forward.

I'd love to hear what works for you. Happy Thanksgiving and good health to you and your family.

Lesson #41: Craving Relief (Part 1)

For awhile now, I've been feeling that my morning coffee was poisoning me. It used to be fairly harmless: eight ounces of half-caf, with a little milk and sugar. No biggie, right? Then I started using those frightfully unwholesome creamers that contain high fructose corn syrup ( the crack-cocaine of sweeteners), titanium (a no-nonsense "whitener"), and tons of artificial flavors and other unpronounceable ingredients. The next thing I knew I was drinking fourteen ounces of strong coffee with another couple ounces of syrupy creamer.

I knew I should get off the stuff, but that wasn't working out, so two nights ago I put my coffee pot away and decided to go cold turkey. The next morning, predictably, my monkey mind started screeching and jumping about wildly in its cage. The fact that I had gone to the trouble of hiding the coffee maker served as distressingly irrefutable evidence that I had an "issue."

I started looking for a loophole. Maybe I could have the coffee without the creamer. Or the creamer without the coffee (Aaacckk!!!). Maybe I could have the coffee with raw honey or stevia extract for sweetener. Or I could switch to decaf and still enjoy the heavenly sweet titanium. Perhaps I could have the usual, but in a smaller cup. Embarrassingly, this went on for awhile, as if it were a reasonable problem-solving session. But then I had an epiphany.

In that moment, I realized that no matter what I decided to do about the coffee, (even if I never touched the stuff again) it wouldn't solve the craving that lurks beneath it. The coffee is not the problem. The caffeine and the sugar are not the problem. The carbs and the fats are not the problem. We can ban one food, substance, or behavior after another, but trying to control ourselves will never address the inner cravings and the outer compulsions, and until we face them adequately, they will keep acting themselves out in our lives.

These cravings represent a cry for help from within. We may be stressed out, angry, lonely, depressed, frightened, emotionally overwhelmed, bored, etc., but we don't always know how to address or manage these thoughts and feelings, so we ignore them in hopes that they'll just go away. But they don't, and they keep surfacing over and over again, in the same or different form until they are properly addressed.

Please join me here next week when we continue this discussion. I will share a couple great techniques for getting to the bottom of the cravings and compulsive behaviors. The most important thing, perhaps, is recognizing that our old ways of denial, avoidance, and control no longer work, and we need to be courageous enough to take a look at what's operating below the surface.

(Note: this morning I didn't think about coffee at all. Miraculously, the monkey was off my back, at least for today. How did this happen? I believe the realization that coffee was just coffee, and not an emotional life raft, caused it to lose it's power over me).

Lesson #40: Bringing "11/11/11" Down to Earth

You've probably been hearing the buzz about 11/11/11, and, like the subject of 2012 and the end of the Mayan calendar, there is a lot of sensationalism surrounding it. In fact, there's even a doomsday horror film coming out this week called, 11-11-11.

Nice.

This is one of those esoteric topics that tends to get oversimplified, polarized, and misunderstood. Although some people really connect with  the meaning and implications of this phenomenon, they aren't always able (or willing) to explain it in plain language that people can understand. What happens then, is that people start reacting to what they don't understand, and turn it into horror movies and other fear-based thoughts and behaviors. Or they say, in effect, "If I don't understand this, it must not be real."

So, let's see if we can break 11/11/11 down into its basic components. First of all, various cultures throughout history have viewed numbers as having certain qualities, mystical and otherwise. Apparently in medieval times, somewhere in the world, numerologists believed that 11 represented darkness and sin. The number 13 also got a bad rap when it became associated with witchcraft. (Even today, 13 is considered unlucky, but as someone who celebrates her birthday every year on the 13th, I can tell you that it's a perfectly harmless number).

Anyway, over time, numerologists came to regard 11 as a spiritual master number, a special power number, and it now represents spiritual insight and enlightenment, or at least movement in that direction. 11/11/11, in its most basic numerological interpretation, is considered an auspicious date because of the triple master numbers alone.

But there's more to it than that, and let me start by pointing out that our universe is a very, very, very big neighborhood full of mysteries and unseen energies. The truth is that what we actually know about the behind-the-scenes working of our universe is miniscule, and unfortunately we just have to deal with not knowing. Some people deal with it by saying that what you see is what you get, and that there are no legitimate unseen forces out there. I don't know about you, but I think we're ready to be a little more adventurous than that!

So, according to various prophesies, teachings, channeled information, etc., 11/11/11 represents a cosmic opening or an opportunity for us to make an evolutionary leap out of the old ways of duality and separation, and into a more enlightened way of being. It is considered an opportunity for increased alignment between the higher and lower aspects of self. 11/11/11 is also believed to be a sort of  kick-off for the events of 2012, and perhaps the beginning of a new era.

What should you expect this Friday? As it turns out, people from all over the world will be involved in 11/11/11 ceremonies at 11:11 am , as well as throughout the day, and into the next few days. During this period, sensitive folks are likely to expereince surges of energy, feelings of upliftment, and more. Less sensitive people may notice nothing out of the ordinary, or at least not right away.

These are facinating times. There is so much change in the air. We can fear it, embrace it, or deny that anything's going on, but this week I encourage you to slow down and tune into life as much as you possibly can. As 11/11/11 approaches, ask yourself, "Does anything feel different?" At 11:11 am this Friday, stop for a moment and close your eyes. What do you notice?

I invite you to share your 11/11/11 stories with me. Blessings to you, and have a magical week!