What do we do with those mixed feelings? After all, this life passage can tap us into heavy existential stuff---loss, grief, regret, aging, mortality, etc. In the old days, I would have tried very hard to tweak the sad feeling, control it, talk myself out of it, or medicate it with food or drink.
Somewhere along the line, though, I started to realize that real, unadulterated feelings are actually pretty short lived, and that if we let them be there without trying to avoid them or change them, they can pass through relatively quickly. It's fear of, or reaction to difficult feelings that extends their shelf life or morphs them into something unmanageable. It's normal in our culture to deny and bury our feelings, even as a first line of defense, but that doesn't make them go away. It just makes them go underground---temporarily.
When we're courageous enough to face our feelings, and we honor and flow with the ups and downs of life, things get much easier. Much. It's like tending a garden. If you water the plants and pull the weeds on a regular basis, maintenance is not too difficult. Sure, you'll get the occasional gopher to deal with, but that's to be expected.
On the other hand, when you neglect your garden for months or years at a time, it can get pretty wild. There might be weeds in there that are taller than you, and some of your beautiful flowers may have died. Depressing? Maybe. Hopeless? No way! With a little effort and resourcefulness, you can get your garden cleaned up.
This week, month, or year, whether you're moving on to the next phase of life or watching someone else do so, I invite you to take a moment to allow any feelings you might have to be there. Notice how much stronger you feel when you face what's true for you instead of running away from it.
