Maybe it's free-floating anxiety. Maybe it's chronic, low-grade depression. Maybe it's a nagging sense of guilt, shame, or inadequacy. Or maybe it's nothing more than a bit of frustration or irritation. Whatever's operating below the surface and bugging you or sabotaging your life, can be revealed and relieved by practicing Gendlin's Focusing process.
So, here it is:
- Clearing a Space. Sit or lie down, close your eyes, and relax. Take a few deep breaths. Turn your attention to your body, perhaps your stomach, chest, and shoulder area. Ask yourself, "How am I today?" or, "What's going on with me right now?" Wait for a felt sense in your body; maybe some tightness or a knot. Along with this, you may start getting a sense of several issues that your body is holding, from minor to major, or fleeting to chronic in nature. Take note of each concern, without going into it, and set it aside for a moment. Let each issue present itself, until you can say, "Except for all this, I feel fine."
- Felt Sense. Ask yourself which issue feels the worst right now, or just pick one to work on. Don't delve into the problem or the usual dialog about the problem. Stand back from it, and ask yourself to get a sense of the whole of the problem (just the overall "vibe" of the issue). Your mind might want to start analyzing at this point, but try to stay quiet and just listen for your body's response (which might feel murky and unclear at this point).
- Get A Handle. What is the quality of the felt sense? Find a word, like "heavy," "tight," sticky," "jumpy," "helpless," etc., or a short phrase or combination of words, such as "have to perform," or "scared-tight." Perhaps a picture or sound pops into your mind that represents the felt sense. You aren't trying to analyze; you are looking for the core of the felt sense (of all of that).
- Resonate. Take the word or image you received, and check it against the felt sense. Make sure they are a match. Gently ask (but don't answer),"Is this right?" If so, you should experience a felt response or resonance, such as a sigh, tears, or feeling of relief. If the word or image is not a match, return to the felt sense and wait for the right representation to appear. (Note that the felt sense might morph as you go through this process, so you may have to keep refining and redefining as you go). When you've achieve a good, solid match, let yourself feel that for a minute or two before moving on.
- Asking. If a major shift, opening, or bodily release has already occurred, go directly to the final step, "receiving." Usually, however, a well-fitting handle has produced a small shift, and in this step, you ask the felt sense, directly, what it is. This might mean spending some time with the felt sense, and using the handle ("heavy." for example) to ask, "What is it about this whole issue that feels so heavy?" (Try to keep your questions open-ended). The first answers you receive might be the usual mental processing, so keep asking, gently, until the felt sense stirs, and a fresh authentic answer emerges. Ask other relevant questions as they present themselves, such as, "What is the worst part of all this?" and, "What would it take for me to feel better?"
- Receiving. Whatever comes from this process, welcome it. You might have received a little information or experienced a small shift. Or, perhaps, you resolved the entire problem. Know that your willingness to inquire within has set a process in motion, and that eventually a meaningful internal shift will occur. And don't worry if your questions produced what feels like an unrealistic answer (eg, something that would require you to leave your spouse, quit you job, or invest money that you don't have.) The first form of the internal response is often just a jumping off point, so give it time to mature and develop.
