Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Yesterday I had an illuminating conversation with a friend of mine, who is a life coach. I asked her what the difference was between therapy and coaching. She explained the goals and process of coaching, and then said, "We inquire as to what your soul is trying to achieve---or within a relationship, what is the relationship is trying to achieve."
I found this fascinating, because so often we get stuck in ruts of thinking, feeling, and acting, and we get trapped within certain dynamics. But how many of us take our issues to that deeper level---the level of asking what our souls are trying to accomplish through our life circumstances?
We all have ongoing or recurring themes in our lives, some of which are functional, and others that seem to work against us. Maybe we are constantly struggling to make enough money, or are always attracting the wrong kind of friends or partners. We tend to either personalize, "Why can't I get my act together?," or globalize our challenges, "Life is hard and people are untrustworthy."
Regardless of how we interpret our circumstances, our souls have placed us in these circumstances because they provide the perfect conditions for learning. For instance, someone who is always being taken advantage of may be here to learn how to look out for himself and develop discernment. And someone who is abused in this life may be working on developing (inner) self worth, or learning to stand up for herself.
Can you think of a longstanding or acute issue you've had, that you've resolved? Maybe a chronic illness, addiction, or relationship pattern? If so, you're probably pretty clear about what you learned from that challenge, and why it was important to go through. Maybe you suffered a heart attack and deeply resolved to slow down and take better care of yourself. Or maybe you found the courage to leave a loveless marriage and are now happily single or remarried.
If you have a troublesome issue, whether acute or chronic, it represents your soul asking you to make a change or evolve in some important way. Ignoring the call, or doing what you've always done, is probably not going to work anymore.
This week, I invite you to relax, step back, and ask your soul what your situation is trying to teach you. What is your soul trying to achieve?