Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Creating Win-Win Situations

Lately I've been thinking a lot about creating win-win situations in my life, and reflecting on how the old way of the ego insisted that for one party to win, the other must lose. We see this in sports and war, and perceive it in negotiations and life circumstances of all kinds. But while win-lose situations work for the ego (about half the time), they don't satisfy our higher nature, that which believes we're all connected, and when one side loses, everybody actually suffers.

People who see life in terms of win-lose situations tend to embrace competition, self-gain, and the the belief in limited resources, while people who value win-win situations are more likely to embrace cooperation, compromise, and honoring both oneself and others.

I don't mean to imply that this is straight forward. It's not as simple as having the "right" world-view, because how you perceive any particular situation will determine whether you see yourself as a winner, a loser, or something in between. It's all based on expectations.

For instance, when a company gives all of it's employees identical holiday bonuses, some people will feel they won the lottery, while others feel disappointed or devalued. And when two sports teams tie a game, one may be delighted, while the other is outraged. It's all relative.

It's not possible, in our current paradigm, to create win-wins in every situation, and we do still enjoy our games and other competitions, so we're not ready to eliminate the concept of "victory." But that doesn't mean we can't start moving toward a world-view that makes room for more cooperation and care in our everyday dealings.

What does this mean? Maybe that we still pursue a "good deal," but we do it without taking advantage of other people. We ask for what we want in a relationship, but are more willing to give something in return. And when we're negotiating on a price, wage, etc., we notice (and care) how each party feels when all is said and done. Ideally, everyone feels that they have gained something in the transaction (or at least been treated fairly).

Recently, I've been approaching potential difficulties by announcing to all involved, "I believe in win-win situations." The results have been fairly miraculous, I think because when you state that your intention is for all parties to win, everybody (including the spiritual forces), come together to support that intention. It's synergistic. There's just more power behind that sort of intention.

So this week I invite you to work toward win-win situations. This may require you to compromise, but it may not! You might just find that by cooperating with others and caring about their outcomes, you'll get everything you want, and so will they.

Good luck with this, and have a wonderful week.