Lesson #38: Are You a Lightworker?

What is a "Lightworker?" Although the term has been around for decades, it has been (and still is) fairly esoteric. Simply stated, a Lightworker is someone whose life purpose revolves around helping people, and/or uplifting human consciousness. I like to say that Lightworkers are people whose job it is to uphold the light (in a light and dark world).

In addition to the work they do in the world (typically as healers, counselors, teachers, writers, musicians, etc.), Lightworkers tend to:

1.    Be particularly sensitive or empathic
2.    Feel different or odd (or did as a child)
3.    Love helping others
4.    Possess great creativity
5.    Experience ringing in the ears
6.    Care deeply about humanity
7.    Care about Mother Earth
8.    Follow their hearts
9.    Have a history of personal challenges and/or low self-esteem (which has taught them humility and compassion)
10.  Believe in love, peace, freedom, and other ideals
11.  Have a spiritual practice and/or deep connection with the divine
12.  Have experienced some degree of spiritual awakening

You may have heard of other spiritual categories and labels that describe people who may or may not be Lightworkers, such as Starseeds, Earth Angels, Indigos, Crystal children, etc. While these and other groups of souls each serve unique and important functions in the evolution of humanity, not all of them would be considered Lightworkers, per se.

Lightworkers are powerful but sensitive people who need to learn how to take care of themselves if they are to thrive in a sometimes harsh world. This includes health basics such as good nutrition, rest, and exercise, as well as employing energy management techniques such as grounding, shielding, balancing and clearing (see blog posts/"Lessons" 27-30, from August, 2011). Also important is it to connect with other lightworkers who share your purpose, thoughts, feelings and challenges.

If you have any questions or want to share your thoughts, I would love to hear from you. (See comments below). Also, please check out this great video by Kimberley Jones: "What is a Lightworker?"

Lesson #37: Ever Changing Time

At a party the other night, everyone seemed to be talking about time, and how subjective it can be. We concluded that the quality of time is changing, that it's actually speeding up. I think we'd all agree that time is not what it used to be. We used to get bored, and now there's no time for boredom.

You've probably heard the saying, "There's no time like the present," but the reality is that there's no time but the present. The future has not happened, and the past is just a memory. Memories are subject to intense distortion, and what you believe happened in your childhood, how you perceived a certain situation, is probably different than what objectively occurred. What you remember and what your brother remembers about the Thanksgiving of 1979 may be completely different.

As mind-boggling as it seems, modern science tells us that outside of our space-time continuum (our little 3-D bubble), time does not even exist! What this implies is that if you were outside of our universe, looking in, you would perceive all events throughout time ocurring simultaneously. If space-time is indeed a continuum, then what is happening in this moment affects what is happening forty years ago, as well as forty years in the future.

This means that when you heal an emotional wound in this moment, you are sending healing to yourself in all directions of time. Likewise, when you hurt yourself in this moment, you are sending pain to yourself in all directions of time. Since we're all constantly changing, it could be said that the past and the future are also changing, all the time.

We all know that we should "forgive and forget," but have you ever noticed that when you truly forgive someone, the memory of what they did begins to fade? For instance, I used to blame my parents for certain deficiencies in my childhood, but over time the resentment played itself out, and I realized that not only had they done the best they could, but that they had actually been very decent parents.

After realizing this, something interesting happened. The sad memories faded, to the extent that today I can't even remember what I was so upset about. Even if I try to dredge up memories, it's like grasping to remember a dream that is slipping out of consciousness. It was as if my forgiveness or reframing of the situation actually tweaked "reality," past and present (which automatically changes the future).

As an experiment, try this: recall a time when you didn't get what you needed. For example, maybe as a child you felt abandoned or abused in some way. Don't choose your most loaded memory---pick one that you've played over in your mind, and that you're ready to release.

Take a few minutes to relax, and then briefly replay the scene as you remember it. Next, imagine that the scene changes, and someone steps in to help you, or an older and wiser version of yourself shows up and gives you exactly what you need in that moment. Play this new scene out in your head to its happy conclusion, taking time to enjoy the way this feels to you.

This simple exercise is so powerful that it can actually unravel the old memory, in all directions of time. You just have to be willing to let go of your attachment to the old scene. It turns out that memories, time, and "reality" itself are not as concrete as we once thought they were.

Lesson #36: Drama-rama!!!

Last week we talked about "the roller coaster." Most of us have areas in our lives where we experience ups and downs. This is normal, of course, as life itself  has its ups and downs. The world naturally experiences floods and droughts, sweltering heat and frigid cold, peace and war. Today, however, I wanted to take this concept a step further, and discuss our human relationship with drama.

How do we define drama? I decided to look it up in the dictionary because, frankly, I love to throw the word around so much  I was afraid I'd lost touch with its actual meaning. The dictionary defines drama this way: "a series of events so interesting, conflictual. vivid, etc., as to resemble those of a play." Yep, that's my definition too.

You probably know people who are very dramatic. We all have an aspect of this in us. Some people express drama through clothing, makeup, tattoos, piercings, etc. Some express it through risk-taking behaviors like motorcycle racing or skydiving. Others express it through language, music, theater, writing, art, or dance. Still others unconsciously act it out in their lives through conflicts in relationship, chronic career or financial trouble, or constant battles with health, substances or emotions.

Take a moment and think about your friends and family members. Who is the least drama-oriented person you know? This is probably someone who thrives on balance, and actively avoids high conflict situations and people. Some might consider this person uninteresting.

Next, think of the most drama-centric person you know. This is someone who goes from one life crisis to another, either real or imagined. Or maybe the crises are purely psychological, involving swings in mood, love and hate, joy and sorrow.

Where do you fit into this spectrum? Where were you in your teens and twenties? (A naturally turbulent time). Where are you now? This is important to look at because the energy we spend engaged in unnecessary drama could otherwise be channeled into creating happiness and success in our own lives and in the world. Not only that, drama is stressful, and who needs more stress in their lives?

Why do we do it anyway? What do we get out of creating chaos in our lives? The "benefits" inherent in the drama are known as secondary gains, and include (but are not limited to) the following:

1.   Alleviating or preventing boredom
2.   Attracting the attention of others
3.   Soliciting care, sympathy or help
4.   Appearing interesting or exciting
5.   Providing an adrenaline boost
6.   Avoiding facing our inner world
7.   Avoiding taking responsibility for ourselves

This is a time of great external drama. In addition to the age-old stresses of war, famine, violence, etc., we also have modern-day "earth changes," extreme economic stress, and prophesies of global destruction.

Given all of this, there's no question that now is a great time to settle down and work on achieving as much inner balance as possible. Please take a look at how (and why) you might be stirring up trouble in your life, and consider what you might be able to do to change this pattern.

Lesson #35: Getting off the Roller Coaster

Is there an area of your life where you tend to go up and down, rise then fall, or repeatedly experience success followed by failure? For many of us Americans, this involves food and exercise, or smoking and alcohol, but it could be your moods that swing, or your bank account or love life that fluctuates wildly. Things are great for a while, and during that sublime period you are convinced that it will stay this way forever.

Perhaps you've experienced an epiphany, a moment or even an extended period of grace during which you see things very clearly. You're eating only healthy foods and glowing with radiant good health. In the midst of this natural high, it's inconceivable that you once binged on potato chips and ice cream sandwiches while watching Desperate Housewives. (Who was that person?, you wonder). Now that you've seen the light, you will never behave that way again.

But then one day you're particularly stressed out, or you let your guard down, or you feel so invincible that you forget what it used to be like. You think to yourself, "I'm a different person now. Much stronger than before. What used to pull me down no longer has power over me." So you dip your toes back in that familiar water, and before you know it, you're back to your old tricks.

How could this have happened? You were doing so well. The disappointment or even the shame you feel is magnified by the fact that this cycle has repeated several times before. When will it end? When will you get it right once and for all? 

The truth is that in this lifetime you might not succeed in maintaining that level of enlighted thinking indefinately. Just because your friend never misses a workout or never spends outside of her means, doesn't mean that you will be able to sustain that level of perfection. Yes, she's discplined in these areas, but if you look closely you'll see that she struggles in other areas. The same is true for you. There are areas of your life where you naturally excel. You may take these things for granted, but trust me, your friends drool over your clean house and your ability to stop drinking after one glass of wine.

So, back to the roller coaster ride. How are we to get off of this crazy thing? Some would say the key is moderation. Others would say it is perseverence (never give up the fight). Still others would say that you need to forgive yourself and move on, or just accept yourself the way you are and stop trying to whip yourself into shape.

While these are all reasonable suggestions, getting off the roller coaster can sometimes involve a few steps. I invite you to explore the following ideas.

1.     What are you strengths? If you're not sure, ask your friends. Honor yourself for the good work, progress, discipline, and contributions to the world that you already make.

2.     What are your weaknesses? (Try not to dwell on this question). See if you can muster up some compassion and forgiveness for the areas of your life in which you struggle.

3.     Pick your favorite shortcoming. What are reasonable hopes or goals, based on your personal history, genes, personality, etc.? (Maybe eating candy in moderation or weighing 105 lbs. are not realistic objectives for you, and you need to adjust your expectations). Note that sometimes black and white thinking is a tyranny in and of itself, while other times it can actually free us from the subtler tyranny of false hope.

4.     Finally, try to relax. As humans we are never going to be perfect. When we gain compassion for ourselves, it makes it easier to have compassion for the struggles of others, and this is a beautiful lesson.
When you're at the top of your roller coaster (or genuinely in a good place), and you see someone engaged in a struggle that you have had, instead of feeling superior, say to yourself, "Oh, yes, I've been there before. I know how hard that can be." This reminder will help you stay in balance (and it will feel great to the other person!)

Lesson #34: How Does Your Garden Grow?

The other night as I was going to bed, I couldn't help but feel that I had wasted my day. It had been gorgeous outside, but I'd been indoors puttering around on my computer, trying to figure out how to do something that never really panned out. In addition, I had spent a couple hours putting out a fire that I had inadvertantly set . Ugh!

I thought of all the meaningful, productive, or just plain fun things I could have done instead, and I felt frustrated. Then, what floated  into my mind was the image of a garden, and I sensed an inner voice asking the questions: "If your life were a garden, what would it look like? How did you tend your garden today."

Hmmmm, that's interesting. I thought about it and realized that in spite of my frustration I had probably accomplished something this day. Certainly I had learned a lesson or two about what not to do. Maybe I had planted a couple seeds that would eventually grow into something of value. Or maybe I'd just turned over some soil in preparation for planting.

Okay, so that felt a little better. As I looked over my inner garden, I saw lots of beautiful flowers and trees, and lots of happy garden fairies. There was an adorable puppy---all young and energetic and sweet. Granted, the little guy was peeing all over the place, but that's what puppies do, right? There were also plenty of weeds in the garden, and the lawn needed some work, but hey, I never said this was Jardin des Tuileries, now did I?

I decided that my garden was quite decent and had lots of potential. Not only that, it had obviously been cared for over time. And maybe I hadn't accomplish a lot today, but I did manage to pull a handful of weeds and prep the ground for the work I'd do tomorrow. At least I didn't leave the hose running all day and flood the garden. Maybe today wan't so bad afterall.

Next what floated through my mind were images of compost and manure and all the other questionable things we actually prize as fertilizer. Oh, now that's VERY interesting. Perhaps I was being reminded that sometimes the ickiest, most objectionable things in life are ultimately what make our gardens grow the best. Perhaps I was being shown that life on earth is a work in progress, a series of seasons and harvests and varying crop conditions. Maybe we're not expected to be expert gardeners, or maybe some days we are that, while other days we're not.

So tell me, how does your garden grow?

Lesson #33: Habits Wreaking Havoc (Part 2)

Last week we talked about the natural tendency for beings like us to pick up the habits and traits of those who have influenced us the most, especially early in life. During the course of the week I found myself in a sort of  fish bowl of self-discovery regarding my own habits. I observed that some of my regular thinking and behavior patterns were quite functional and made me feel good about myself, like the fact that I exercise regularly and that in spite of occasional moodiness, I'm usually caring and optimistic.

On the downside, I came face to face with some demons dressed as fear and anger (okay, rage). It's not that I'd never met them before, (oh yes, I knew them well!), but they seemed so much more obnoxious and theatrical than I had remembered them.

At first I was embarrassed and humbled by the thoughts and feelings I experienced, but then I started getting the feeling that I was being given an opportunity to consciously let go of these patterns. After all, when they're operating below the surface and masquerading as slight nervousness or mild irritation we don't think much of them. No, this was a gift, and I had to choose whether to accept it or re-commit to the old habits.

Facing our own unhealed places can be difficult but it can also be tremendously freeing. This week, I ask you to look at your life and see if there's a tired old habit hanging around that you can now choose to change. Ask yourself if there's a message in that challenge or conflict that keeps repeating over and over again. You might just find that you have inner resources now that you didn't have before.

Lesson #32: Habits Wreaking Havoc (Part 1)

Good morning, Sweetheart. Today we return to everyone's favorite topic: bad habits. Back in May, we discussed addictions and other unhealthy patterns. As we all realize by now, these habits can wreak havoc on our lives. But what about the subtler tendencies we all have?

Think of these patterns as seeds that have been planted somewhere along the line. They may be habits we picked up from other people---parents, siblings, friends, or partners---like using certain verbal or facial expressions, smoking cigarettes, or the tendency to complain or blame others. But these examples are just the tip of the iceberg because this is a  huge category, especially when addressing the habits we grew into by living in a certain family, culture, religion, geographical location, or socioeconomic group. These influences largely shape us, but not completely.

Most of us come into this world as experienced souls. We already have a unique personality or predisposition. Add to this a biological body that has it's own genetic memories and its own natural temperament. This is what we have to work with. This is what we start out with. Everything we pick up from there on out is not who we really are, but who we allow ourselves to become.

What does this mean? Let's say that your mother's very fearful, or your father's very angry. Chances are, these will become themes in your own life just because you were under your parent's strong influence. But how you respond to these influences is your own issue.

For example, you may (or may not) follow in your parent's footsteps and develop phobic or aggressive tendencies. If you were raised by someone else, would you have developed these traits? This is an important question that only you can answer. It's possible that a habitual way of behaving is not you at all. If it's a "good" habit, like bathing regularly, then it's not a problem. But if it's a habit or tendency that causes you grief, like always assuming people are trying to cheat you, then it's worth questioning. But then how do you undo this influence?

This is a complicated issue, and one that does not have an easy solution,  but one thing for sure is that it's important to question whether this is actually your issue, or someone else's. There's a belief that as we get older we start to turn into our parents. If you're firmly anchored in middle age, like I am, you might notice how this works in your own life. If you're a woman, do you find yourself gradually taking on characteristics your mother exhibited at the same age? If so, do you just accept these characteristics/habits, or do you recognize that some of them might not have anything to do with who you really are, but are just sort of reenactments based on images that live in your head.

You might not recognize the difference right away, but if you ask the question and sit with it for a few days, I think you'll start to get a sense of what's what. For instance, you might start to see your tendency to criticize your children as more of an unconcious imitation of what your mother did, than your true parenting style. In this case, you would need to get in touch with how you really want to relate to your children while working on breaking the habit of going on autopilot and reenacting what your mother did.

Please check out my new favorite blog. It's called "Life in Z-D: A Goofball's Guide to Enlightenment." Author and spiritual teacher, Z Egloff, is as funny as she is wise, and I know you will enjoy her.  http://lifeinzd.com/